Posted by: Nancy | August 1, 2007

Works for Me Wednesday – Parenting advice edition

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Shannon, over at Rocks in My Dryer is doing a parenting edition of Works for Me Wednesday.  There are always tons of people participating, so head over there and read the advice everyone else has for this week’s edition. 

 Here’s my advice:  Don’t be too hard on yourself. 

 Don’t worry if the mom you thought you were going to be is not the mom you find yourself being.   They’re probably not the children you were expecting either. 

 I had my first child at 31.  So, during my 20’s I was that friend who just knew I would never lose my temper with my darling children like some of my friends were doing.  When I’m a mom, I’ll never lose my patience.  Even if I do get frustrated, I will most certainly not yell.   I’ll  never yell.   I’ll explain to them sweetly why they mustn’t do something.   And they will understand and look up at their mommy with adoring eyes while we cuddle and quietly read books.   Then we’ll do arts and crafts and make homemade seasonal decorations for the house. 

 Oh, the preciousness of it all…  It just breaks your heart doesn’t it? 

 Or maybe, depending on how long you’ve been a mom, you might be laughing your booty off by now. 

 Suffice it to say that motherhood has not been what I expected. 

 First of all, my kids do not sit, quietly or otherwise, unless they’re zoned out in front of the TV or sick.   They have always been the exact opposite of the quiet well-mannered cherubs of my imagination.   They are lively, active, loud, wild and wonderful kids.  They do not like to do arts or crafts, listen to books or stare adorably up at me while I cuddle them in my lap.   Because of all the sitting.  Which they do not do.   At all. 

 TV is my friend.  It’s the only way poor mommy gets a break.  

 Which brings me back to the mommy I thought I was going to be.  Like I said, I was never, and I mean never going to yell.  But now, I yell so loud and so often that I’m thinking about buying some of those double pane windows so the neighbors can’t hear my voice echoing into the hinterlands.  

 Nancy

P.S.:  To see something that definitely did NOT work for me, take a look at my Tater Mitts post.  They soooo did not work for me.   

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Responses

  1. I promised that I would never use my just-licked finger to “spit-clean” my children.
    Perhaps we could go in together and get a group discount on those double pane windows…

  2. Excellent advice. When you’re down in the trenches, it’s somehow hard to remember to be gentle with yourself.

  3. Rookies… Old school is the only way. What ain’t broke do not fix it!! My parents did not spare the rod on me and I turned out ok…(correction WE turned out ok..my other personalities are totally buggin right no..STOP! No you! HELP!!) JK!! I love the part about the adorable cudley cutsey stuff..I’m sorry, I think I may have thrown up a little in my mouth. hehehehehe! All better!
    BTW..The dual pane windows are a GODSEND!!!
    We haven’t had Social Services around since we installed them.

    Have fun and try to stay calm…
    Veteran Mom of 2 adorable cherub like boys..NOT!!!!

  4. I didn’t think I would allow my son to watch tv – every single morning.
    I didn’t think I would let him wear his pjs until the afternoon half of the time
    I didn’t think I would give him anything but homemade organic food.

    Now that I’ve actually been a mother for a while I’ve adopted a “whatever works” philosophy. And I’m not so hard on myself anymore!

    GREAT advice to any new parent!

  5. Hats off to you, I can’t seem to get the hang of gadgets, I would blow up my kitchen using them….I’ll stick with the ole’ potato peeler or don’t peel at all.

  6. I think you’re just right – you gotta do what works best for YOUR situation. Good post. Mine’s on sun safety.

  7. I also said or thought “I will NEVER do that when I have kids” only to do “that” a million times over and over. It’s humbling! Thanks for your great advice!

  8. I really never thought I would have 5 boys, either!
    Your advice is so true! But I am working on the yelling! LOL!

    http://tonsofsons.wordpress.com/

  9. I never thought my kids would watch any TV. Who was that person? Thank God we can laugh at our silliness now. Hopefully our friends who endured our judgement can laugh with us.

  10. I love your advice. I am sometimes so hard on myself. I have a strong willed son. Yes – just one child. You would think that one would be easy but I have found that without siblings around I am his playmate sometimes. That can be frustrating when I need to get things done. I often beat myself up over what I give him to eat or letting him play video games. Sometimes we just have to do what works. I do the yelling thing too. LOL!

  11. this makes me feel better
    I have no kids but I yell at my cats so much I was worrying that maybe I should reconsider–I might not be a good parent if that time comes. But, hey, come to think of it, my mom yelled at me. And I turned out okay–mostly.

  12. LOL. I loved all your comments. It’s nice to know we’re not alone huh?


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